I don’t write much anymore.
In the chaos of the last two years I got away from writing. Because of my desperation to pay off my student loan debt before I retire in 40 years, I stopped dedicating time to the things that feed my soul in favor of things that keep collection agencies away. It’s pretty standard coming of age stuff. Life happens and we get away from the things we dreamed about while live action role playing the Final Fantasy series in aunt Pat’s backyard.
Fortunately, the Podcast continues to give me an excuse to dedicate most of my free time to video games, so I’m not entirely a corporate hollow. Still, it’s never enough. The IT guy at my day job asked about the Podcast in the elevator yesterday and I remarked that it was my “moneymaker.” It was a half joke, the kind of thing you say when you know it will make people laugh but are being completely serious. Who doesn’t want to make a living doing something they love?
Which is why people that knew me in the dark ages, when writing the next great American novel while collecting unemployment, lifting weights and eating rabbit food was my plan to achieve success, often ask if I am still writing. I guess lying is easier than explaining that I’m too busy working for the man and playing video games to write, so I sometimes lie. But these questions always ignite something existential in me. I really should write more, for no reason other than for me.
Writing is therapeutic, it’s a creative outlet and it reminds me of the good old days, the days I look back on and romanticize a bit. In addition to geeky news articles, I used to write novels, screenplays, stage plays and short stories and all because I felt like I had something to say. That feeling has faded in the last couple years because my brain hasn’t been in “oh my god I need to write or I’ll die” mode.
Which is why I’ve instituted (for myself) “Article-a-day-May.” This is part 1. I promise the rest won’t be as personal and will focus instead on why we’re all here: video games. Some will be short, some longer. Some interesting, some boring.
But it doesn’t really matter; I just want to remember what I had to say.